Episode 70 - Beyond Baby Blues: Understanding Perinatal Distress
Perinatal distress, postnatal depression, baby blues...how much do we really know about a women's mental health and wellness when becoming a mother? I am so excited to share this podcast with you because I sit down with Clinical Psychologist, Linda Lewis to shed light on motherhood's hidden struggle - perinatal distress. Linda is a leading expert in the field and the author of one of my favourite parenting books, When Your Blessings Don't Count. She shares an absolute treasure trove of wisdom in our chat and this is a MUST if you're battling with expectations versus reality after the birth of your baby.
Perinatal distress vs Postnatal depression
Linda starts us off by telling us her personal story of perinatal distress after the birth of her two children. After navigating the darkness without the support she needed, Linda went on to qualify as a psychologist and write her book to help other women who felt alone. She then makes the distinction between the different nuances that mothers experience between depression, anxiety, distress and baby blues. She talks about the stigma and the pressure moms feel to be completely happy after birth when that is not always the case. Linda also helps us understand the difference between feelings brought on by hormonal changes and chemical imbalances.
I've shared my story before of the extreme anxiety I experienced after the birth of my first child. I describe the complete and utter feelings of overwhelm to Linda, and just how isolated I felt even though I had the support of my husband and mother.
She shares the staggering statistic that at least 90% of women experience baby blues or anxiety after birth. But surprisingly, it's not a topic of conversation. Linda believes that there's a conspiracy of silence around the subject because of the enormous shame and judgement a mother experiences if she feels disconnected from motherhood or her baby.
Risk factors for perinatal distress
Linda goes on to summarises the risk factors for perinatal distress and some of the warning signs to look out for. She explains that if you experienced distress, depression or anxiety during your pregnancy, your risk of perinatal distress increases dramatically. Linda goes on to say that if you experienced a loss of pregnancy or have undergone fertility treatment, you are also more susceptible to experience anxiety or depression. Linda explains the importance of ruling out biological factors, too. Sub-optimal functioning of the thyroid can mimic symptoms of anxiety and depression and moms should have their thyroid checked as part of the discovery phase if they're feeling overwhelmed or in despair.
She also explains that personality can increase your risk of perinatal distress. If you like control, are a perfectionist or thrive with predictability - you may feel out of sorts when a new baby arrives. I relate to this completely because until my first child was born, my life was planned and organized and I liked control. And when James came along I had to suspend control because babies don't read the book!
You're not alone
We then spend some time talking about how to find support.I pick Linda's brain for some tips and advice for moms out there who are feeling the weight of this burden and don't know how to get out from under it. Linda talks about the value of support groups and moms being there for each other. She refers to a New York Times article that called support groups "one of the most powerful interventions. It's the support that women provide to one another that helps them to feel so much less alone in this really challenging journey."
Linda then shares some profound wisdom about the three factors that contribute to PND and perinatal anxiety and they are: birth, breastfeeding and bonding. These three things come with so much societal pressure. How you give birth, when you give birth, whether or not you breastfeed, how long you breastfeed for. Whether you fell in love instantly or had a more gentle build when bonding with your baby. Linda and I agree that there is so much pressure to get these things 'right' when in fact, there is no such thing. We close off our incredible chat with Linda sharing some tips for how friends and family can support moms who are battling and shares more of how to reach her.
Moms, remember you are a force of nature and you are not alone! Listen for more of this insightful chat with Linda Lewis now and reach out to her on [email protected].
